We need more screentime to counter the scourge of sports

An open letter to my daughter’s PE teacher:

Dear Mr Biceps,

I am writing to you to complain about the amount of time my child spends in mindless physical activity. She is constantly insisting on balltime and it is causing numerous problems in our family.

Any free time she has, she spends in balltime. As soon as she gets up, she takes out a ball and spends time with it, ignoring everything else around her. We ask her to get ready for school, and she says “just a minute! I want to finish this!” When she gets home from school, she immediately gets her ball out and ignores her other work. When we tell her to get a book out, she complains that her coach wants her to use her ball.

I am concerned about the inordinate amount of time she spends with a ball. It is interfering with her intellectual development. She is becoming obsessed: if something can’t be played with a ball, she is not interested. I am sure that there are statistics that show that people who spend too much time with a ball become over-competitive and anti-social to people who don’t use balls.

My wife and I have had to insist on family rules for our child. She has to spend 30 minutes on her computer for every hour she spends with a ball. This has led to arguments and tears.

I am writing to you to ask you to please reconsider the inordinate amount of emphasis you and the school place on the use of balls by children. They are too young to be able to self-regulate and keep a balanced attitude towards sports technology. It is vital that young people spend more time with books and computers to keep their minds healthy.

sincerely,

A Concerned Parent